THE FANTASY DISH
By: David Kovsky, Pistonsforum.com Staff Writer
Edition I (11-4-2006)

Welcome to the first of what will become a weekly installment of The Fantasy Dish. It's been a while since we last spoke and I didn't want to wait until Sunday to deliver the goods on the start of the 2005-2006 season, so here is an early edition of The Fantasy Dish. In the future, look for my column to be posted every Monday with my take on what just happened in the world of fantasy hoops and what to look forward to in the coming weeks and months.

As I get ready for the first weekend of the 2005-2006 NBA season, I thought it would be a good time to recapitulate where I have been for the last week, what I have been doing and how the young fantasy season is starting to take shape.

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 28, 2005

I spent most of the afternoon on Friday staring at the clock. Saturday was “auction” day for my fantasy league and 10 of the 12 teams were gathering for the epic event in New York City. I couldn’t wait. For those of you who don’t know what a fantasy auction is, let me briefly explain. My league has 12 teams with 12 roster spots. We assigned each team $240 that could be used to bid on any player that gets introduced but at least $1 must remain available per position to fill out your roster. Drafting players in this method eliminates the luck-factor of getting one of the top picks in the draft. This was my league’s first year doing an auction, so as you might expect, nerves were frayed, emotions were high and the last few weeks have been spent trying to set artificial market values in the hopes of duping your opponent.

I arrived at Penn Station around 9:00 p.m. My good friend Pro Fantasy and I more or less went straight to McSorley’s Old Ale House to get some day-before-the-auction drinking started. What a place! McSorley's, it is an original 1850's pub in Manhattan that serves two drinks. Light beer or dark beer. And, they serve them in cute little pairs. Trust me, before you know it, you have had 16 beer and the saw dust on the floor starts looking really soft.

Ten teams were represented at the bar and we all pounded light beers by the dozen. Who was going to take LeBron, Garnett, AK-47? Nobody would show their hand. Would anybody risk a roster spot on Amare, especially after Yahoo eliminated the injured list? I was pumped!

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 29, 2005

Auction Day finally arrived. Scheduled start time was noon which meant there was ample time to wake up, get a cup of coffee, pick up some food and start working on a few cases of beer. By noon, my friends’ apartment at 14th and Avenue A was abuzz with the whirl of laptop fans and bellicose taunts being launched from one side of the room to the other with the hope that they would throw off someone's auction tactics. We stuck giant post-it notes on the wall with each team's name and space to write in the players selected and the team's remaining money. Even as the auction was afoot, predictions were abound, and excitement, oh the excitement. One task remained before the auction started. We had to determine the player introduction order by drawing names out of a hat.

First name, David Kovsky. I got to introduce first! I stared down my nemesis, The Kaiser, and immediately put Zaza Pachulia on the table. Even before I got to New York, my number one goal was to get The Kaiser to overbid his players. I knew he wanted to get into the action quickly and sure enough, I swindled him into dropping $18 on Pachulia. A great pick, but way too early and for way to much money. After one player, my nemesis had $222 dollars and Pachulia, everybody else $240.

It was a great day that featured Caron Butler going for $25, LeBron for $86 and Bonzi Wells for $1. In the end, I drafted well. I successfully purchased the services of: Antawn Jamison, Shawn Marion, Elton Brand, Brad Miller, Chris Paul, Andrew Bogut, T.J. Ford, Bonzi Wells, Cuttino Mobley, Raef LaFrentz, and Nene.

My nemesis dressed like a clown for Halloween that night. I berated him over and over again about his purchase of Marcus “Cotton” Camby for over $30. Together with his costume, the assault was relentless. Oh how karma has a funny way of showing its ugly face on the Nuggets first night of action and on my roster.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2005

After some obligatory meet-and-greets, I headed back to Philadelphia with Pro Fantasy. Literally the entire two and a half hour commute home was spent analyzing the auction. The pros, the cons, the successes and the failures. We both came to the same, immutable conclusion. We wanted to do another auction immediately.

Still two days and two nights until the start of the new season. I tried to watch Desperate Housewives, you know, to see what it is Tony Parker gets to enjoy and what I miss out on. That show has become awful lately. Seriously, it took a nose dive with that whole lock-the-crazy-man-in-the-basement story line. Fortunately, it was a rerun so I just stared at my new players for a while. Then, around 10 o'clock I called Comcast to order League Pass. Great move. Called them back five minutes later to make sure the order went through. You can't be too sure, right?

MONDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2005

Halloween. All together, Monday was a pretty uneventful day. I went to work, went to school, set my lineup for Tuesday night and watched some reality TV. The Real O.C., also known as MTV's Laguna Beach has been on fire lately. The tryst between Promiscuous Jessica, Playa Jason and Dateable LC was money.

Best part about Laguna Beach…you don't have to feel bad for checking out high school girls/boys anymore. Thank you MTV, for a couple of decades now you have been bringing out and putting into the mainstream the perverted voyeur in us all. Salud.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2005

Kick-off day in the NBA has finally arrived. I spent much of the work day sending instant messages back and forth ranking the relative attractiveness of the girls on the previous night's Laguna Beach. The top 3, by nearly unanimous decision are as follows: Kristen, LC, and in a distant third, Jessica.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, I had to leave work and go to school. While I was packing my bags for a fun filled night with the federal tax code, I started breaking out into a cold sweat. How the heck was I going to get from North Philadelphia to Washington Square West sans subway or bus in time for tip-off? You see, SEPTA is on strike right now and it has made commuting a major nightmare with gridlock and major delays all over town. Fortunately, I was able to bum a ride and was only a little late getting to Pro Fantasy's apartment.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2005

Forget about trying to commute across the city without mass transit. I decided it would be much easier to just skip class and ensure that I got to see every second of the 9 minute Darko Rejuvenation Project. One word described it: disappointed. Come on Flip, unleash the beast, don't pull a Pound-for-Pound on me, I thought we were past those days.

Sitting next to a die-hard Sixers fan during the game was great. Not only was Pro Fantasy screaming for Billy King's head every time Chris Webber stepped on the floor, he readily admitted that the Pistons and Sixers are in two very different classes. Here is how a typical conversation went,

Pro Fantasy: "I thought nobody would ever take Chris Webber's contract and I still think that, which means we are stuck with him. What were we thinking? Argh!"

Me: "You love the Pistons"

Pro Fantasy: "No I don't"

Me: "Just admit it, you love the Pistons"

Pro Fantasy: "Stop saying that, I hate the Pistons…but…I love all five starters individually, just not the team."

Me: "What does Philly need to do to become a contender?"

Pro Fantasy: "It would never happen, but I think it's time to trade Iverson…Damn it!!... Did you see that? Prince has made a career out of beating us, arghh!"

Good times!

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2005

I DVR'ed a portion the Miami/Indiana game so I could watch the return of the O.C. It's been so long since I got my weekly dose of Seth, Summer, Ryan and Marissa; I felt like I was starved for oxygen. The show came roaring back from its mid-season hiatus to feature a cabal between Seth and Summer against the dean of the high school, Ryan attempting to run away from home and the budding of a good old fashioned love triangle. As good as the show is, I have one urgent plea for the writers. Stop the rehab/stalker story line! It is so Beverly Hills 90210 after the show got bad. How many times did Kelly Taylor go into rehab only to be stalked, hit on, abused, or come out doing another drug?

After the O.C. was done, I caught up on Miami/Indiana and found myself asking my wife, to her dismay, how on earth are Stan Van Gundy and Jeff Van Gundy related? She doesn't know who either of them are and dismissed the question with a shrug. But, when I started opining on whether Jermaine O'Neal would get center eligibility, and if Ron Artest gets ejected from 15 games each year, could he ever be considered a first round draft pick, she left the room in a huff. More couch space for me, I suppose.

The early game was followed by a showdown between Los Angeles and Phoenix. I love seeing two teams score 110 points-plus. Great night for stats.

SOME FANTASY OBSERVATIONS

1. T.J. Ford.
This diminutive point guard is the real deal. Dude is as fast as lightning and his terrifying spinal injury seems to be a thing of the past. Ford is finding it easy to dish the ball to Michael Redd (who is playing like the max-contract player that he is), Jamaal Magloire (who has been unusually active on defense), Bobby Simmons (who has graciously and effectively stepped into Desmond Mason's shoes) and Andrew Bogut (who has "Wally Pipped" Joe Smith as Pro Fantasy astutely pointed out.)

During the first two games of the season, Ford has exploded back onto the scene by averaging: 18.5 ppg, 6.5 rebs, 10 dishes and 87.5% from the charity stripe. If he is available in your league, pick him up immediately.

2. Lamar Odom.
Last year the triangle offense was the source of exacerbation felt by many fantasy owners with Odom in their lineup. Not so anymore. The Zen Master, original penman of the triangle offense himself, is back on hand to devise its secretive ways to the Lakeshow's Point Forward, Lamar Odom. If Thursday night is any indication, Odom is going to be a beast this year. Check out his line against Phoenix: 23 pts, 16 rebs, 8 dishes and 1 stl.

3. Antoine Walker.
Oh boy, did anybody not see this coming? Owners are going to have to contend with a nightly, "which Walker will show up" dilemma. Consider his last two outings. First, against Memphis: 25 pts, 16 rebs, 4 dishes, 1 blk, 58.8% FG, 100% FT and 57% 3PT. Awesome, right? This dude is a fantasy monster, right?

WRONG. Check out last night's line against Indiana. 12 pts, 7 rebs, 2 dishes, 1 stl, 33% FG, 25% FT, 16.7% 3PT and a late game, ill-advised triple try that led to Shaq's attempted rebound and ankle injury. Ouch. Watch-out SVG, it's your head on the chopping block with Pat Riley waiting in the wing if things go wrong.

4. Karma
Nene got hurt in the Nuggets season opener. If that isn't bad enough, I had Nene on my team and spent the entire auction ridiculing my nemesis, The Kaiser, about how soft Camby is. If that still isn't bad enough, Nene turned down money from the Nuggets in an attempt to hold out for a better deal. Ouch. But, if that still isn't bad enough, what other center options are out there? If your league goes 12 teams and 12 players or more, it is slim pickings at the five.

PistonsForum.Com Recommendation: Melvin Ely. Ely was a monster last year while Okafor was hurt leading some fantasy experts I know to speculate about the safety of Okafor's job. Foolish in retrospect but that shows the kind of game that Ely brings to the court when he gets sufficient burn.

He seems poised this year to continue taking advantage of his PT. Against the Bulls, Ely saw 28 minutes of action to Primoz Brezec's 21 minutes. With that much PT, Ely was able to slobber on the stat line with 13 pts, 15 rebs, 3 dishes and a perfect 7-7 from the free throw line. Now, people are openly speculating about the security of Brezec's job. If you have Nene on your team or you are in need of a center and Ely is available, go pick him up right now.

5. Under the Radar.
Two players that have flown way, way under the radar during peoples' drafts and the start of the season are Smush Parker and Johan Petro.

First, Parker has been sensational as a starter in both of the Lakers' first two games. At a blistering clip of over 60%, Parker went for over 20 points in both games. If you are paper thin at point guard pick him up. Just be mindful, however, that he will not be a 20 point a night scorer. Rather, he will probably record something in the neighborhood of 13 points a game as long as the job is his. His upside comes from assists. Not only will he average double digits in points, as Odom gets more comfortable playing for The Zen Master and Kwame Brown gains more and more confidence, Parker's dishes per game will go up. PistonsForum.Com Prediction: 13.5 ppg and 4.5 apg. Not bad for a backup PG that went undrafted in your league.

Second, Johan Petro started the other night for Seattle. In only 12 minutes of action he was aggressive, looked comfortable and put up better numbers than Nick Collison with twice as much time. He isn't worth a spot yet, but deserves close monitoring. If he continues to start and sees increased playing time, he might become a hidden gem at the center spot come mid-season.

MAILBAG QUESTIONS

If you have any questions about trades, offers, free agents, Laguna Beach or anything else, please write to fantasyhoops@pistonsforum.com. I will be answering the best questions in the weekly addition of The Fantasy Dish. Also, check out my boys over at profantasysports.com for some additional and in-depth fantasy hoops coverage. Peacetos.