Just watched the Pistons / Heat game on ESPN.

The number one question regarding the event just witnessed has to be;
Bill Walton, anti-christ or retarded circus clown?

My vote is anti-christ clown.

This guy has to be the worst analyst in professional basketball.
I don't care about his obvious bias. It's the whole package he brings to my flat screen that I find offensive. He's incredibly creepy. He's like liquid intestinal gas splashed across the tv pixels.

You need a nauseous moment? Knowing your team is about to have the fly brained Walton chortling his view of their inner workings to a national audience is a enough to make a grown man cry.

But it's his colorful remarks, like the one about Dwayne Wade being a "chiseled Michelangelo with a great upper rack" that really make me wonder what he was doing to other players jocks while they were showering back in his Portland playing days.

Seriously, his non-stop never-take-a-breath jabberwocking anti-Piston gurgling is more than a sane man can bare. At half time I caught myself standing on a chair trying to fashion a hang-mans noose over a ceiling beam in my cabin.

ESPN management is clearly nuts, crazy, insane. Anyone that would actually sign checks that compensate this clown for his game insight probably needs to check their car for leaking exhaust fumes.

That's it, that's all I'm saying.....

Always wondered how he's stayed on the air so long... it could be the shock factor (like Barkley).... what stupid thing is he gonna say next?.... kinda like those commercials you hate but you still watch cause it's rediculously dumb humor... if it gets a reaction then mission accomplished for the ratings.

I don't know nobody seems to like him. I can take him for about a quarter then its gets real old fast.

Why is he on the air?

I heart Bill Walton. That monologue of his was absolutely priceless
"You look at his body, Dwyane Wade, it’s as if Michelangelo sculpted it in a dream. He’s just so cut, and his posture, the rack upstairs and those shoulders, so broad."

He's usually funny, occasionally insightful, and easy to tune out if you take him too seriously.

Maybe he appeals to the gay audience.

:brick:

I couldn't get the voting box to work but I'll go with antichrist.

Bill walton is for people who watch Elimidate AND tune ito the basketball game.

What would be truly entertaining is replacing Mr. Bill with Napoleon Dynamite.
"Coaches only like players with skills. Cross over skills. REbound skills. Shooting skills. You know, SKILLZ!"

What would be truly entertaining is replacing Mr. Bill with Napoleon Dynamite.

HEY! Watch it, you! Them's thar fightin' words.

We Idahoans take great pride in Napoleon. He put us on the map.

Prepare the potato launchers guys! This means war.:boxing::laser:

Thanks G-Man, you said it. I couldnt believe the bias. I was thinking if I didnt know for sure the Pistons were playing the Heat, I would think it was some ghost team Heat was playing...Never a Piston mention or prop, it was all about Miami.:doh:

Oh yeah, when Pistons whomped Miami, no acknowledgement about the great team that beat the Heat, just a litany of reasons why the Heat didnt win, poor Alonzo, poor little Shaq pinkie, and that other team didnt let Wade get his play....boo hooooo:Cry:

I expect team bias from our local TV reporting games, but NOT national TV. Colorful? funny? entertaining? If the comments were shared for both teams it would be different. This guy was too obvious. What a jerk!:smash:

ps: Micro, I need a "jerk" smilie:nod:

ps: Micro, I need a "jerk" smilie:nod:
I'll see what I can do BSA.

I'll see what I can do BSA.

just get a pic of walton ;D you could take that cartoon-ized version they have for him on ESPN and throw it, err, shrink it down!! shrink it down big man!!

animated gif of a bill walton bobble head.

Charlie rosen did the same thing:
http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/5437578

The Miami heat played a collection of unidentified nba players and could have won except that they....

HEY! Watch it, you! Them's thar fightin' words.

We Idahoans take great pride in Napoleon. He put us on the map.

Prepare the potato launchers guys! This means war.:boxing::laser:

do the chickens have large talons?

Bill Walton Anti-christ or retarded clown
Neither.

Ian Cameron sums it up best.

But something happened along the way that caused me to reconsider my disdain for Big Red; I actually turned the volume up and listened to one of his games. And in doing so, I realized quickly that the joke was on me, that my naivete and/or blind-hate had kept me from appreciating Walton for what he is: a willing punchline. His hyperbole, his non-sequitors, his uncomfortable hetero-crushes–Walton is just playing along, throwing humorous tidbits against the wall to see which ones stick. Why else would someone say the following... [more] (http://www.detroitbadboys.com/archives/2006-03-23/bill-walton-is-my-hero/)

Sorry Micro I already tried that route.

What he does is blatantly impact the value of a teams image via his soft-porn like diatribes.

He holds himself out to the semi-ignorant masses as one that actually knows something and many of those softly observing 'fans' take him at his word. His external validation comes in the form of the ESPN soapbox, microphone and camera.

The joke isn't on us. I'm not hip to his self promoting psycho-babble when it's clearly laced with disdain and is biased beyond any reasonable semblance of balance. By the way I didn't forget all of his negative commentary about the city, people, and players from Detroit during and after the Malice at the Palace (though not a single Piston was involved in the muggings).
Was that an inside joke? A yuk-yuk for the hipsters?

It isn't humor, he ain't cool and I don't embrace the theory that the un-hip masses just don't get it. He's paid to entertain but to do it by bringing some real level of game intelligence and insight to the buying populace. That's the core of his job description.

I don't have any inclination to look through the thin veil and witness wisdom or wit in what he's doing. It isn't b-ball analysis, it isn't b-ball color, it isn't even about b-ball. It's about him.

My vote, Retarded Circus Clown.
I want my money back.

Can you imagine how monotonous BBall analysis is for all these guys? saying the same thing over and over about simular BBall teams? My guess is BW says these things just to stoke himself up, because the alternative is blowing your brains out.

Can you imagine how monotonous BBall analysis is for all these guys? saying the same thing over and over about simular BBall teams? My guess is BW says these things just to stoke himself up, because the alternative is blowing your brains out.

Or maybe getting another job? The retarded clown is getting paid reasonably big bucks to get driven around to watch basketball games and all he has to do if make some effort to actually analyze what and why teams do certain things. If he can't make the effort to at least watch the game he's calling, after having done some actual homework on the teams, he ought to be kicked out of the chair.

No problem with that either.

Or maybe getting another job? The retarded clown is getting paid reasonably big bucks to get driven around to watch basketball games and all he has to do if make some effort to actually analyze what and why teams do certain things. If he can't make the effort to at least watch the game he's calling, after having done some actual homework on the teams, he ought to be kicked out of the chair.

Hear hear. At least you could learn something from the "old standard" guys like Hubie Brown. There's nothing worse than a hollow shill with bad hair..

In a world that is much too serious, and on the internet that is far too demanding for information, someone like Walton is a welcome reprieve from the blatant and wornout homerism of Blaha, or the awkward enthusiasm of Fred McCloud.

For as long as I can remember, you have a colour man (whose job by definition is to be colourful) and a play-by-play announcer. Walton just chooses to display his colour as crackpot banter rather than droning analysis.

Walton makes me laugh because he mocks the players, the teams, the game and his own network, all while collecting a check. He's laughing at his expense, his boss' expense, the players' expense and your expense. You either laugh along, or feel bad. BILL DON'T CARE.

While Pistons fans can cry and moan about Brawl responsibility or Tim Legler, should we really care? Isn't the ultimate prize the place in history and the fact that no other team's fans can say BOO to us this year?

I don't need approval of my team from The Daily Dime, and I don't need Hubie Brown to describe in mind numbing detail how a pick and roll was executed.

I wanna laugh at ESPN and their over the top coverage of Ginobili and Wade. I wanna hear Walton mock them with no respect for himself or of his listeners because this plastic NBA, pre-fab, over-hyped, Bron vs. Melo, Wade vs. Kobe, Shaq vs. Ming crap is overdone and and I don't give a damn who is the MVP.

The greatest lines I have read or heard...

Tony Parker makes a pass, which gets deflected out of bounds by an opposing defender. Spurs ball, no big deal... Walton roars: "Tony Parker just made the worst pass... in the history of Western Civilization!"

"Greg Ostertag is one of the top centers on this planet!"

"You look at Vladimir Radmanovic, this guy is cut from stone. As if Michelangelo was reading and a lightning bolt flashed before him."

On Rasheed Wallace: "He's like a four-armed Dikembe Mutombo around the basket!"

If you can't laugh at one (or two) liners like that, you're taking this all way too seriously IMHO. Bill is the willing clown. Be a willing audience. You just might smile as the Pistons overcome the Heat in the second half, and for all of the wrong reasons, which in my book, makes them all right.

You make some good points Micro but Walton's schtick is like listening to an old LP of the Bee Gees with a scratch in it. I mean maybe the first time you heard Jive Talkin' you thought it was a good song but after it keeps getting caught on that scratch and repeating 1,000 times it's more like torture. I like Marv Albert, I don't care what he does in his free time...he's funny....but Walton is lazy.

On the other hand he is a smart guy and an interesting character. His biography Nothing but Net: Just Give Me the Ball and Get Out of the Way is one of the better basketball books I have read. After his basketball career was over his feet were so bad he could barely walk from one end of a room to another. He was cursed with injuries.

If you can't laugh at one (or two) liners like that, you're taking this all way too seriously IMHO. Bill is the willing clown. Be a willing audience. You just might smile as the Pistons overcome the Heat in the second half, and for all of the wrong reasons, which in my book, makes them all right.
It's not that part that bugs me. I even giggle sometimes. What bugs me is that he doesn't seem to have done any homework before stepping up to the mike. It's as if he doesn't even know who is playing until he sits down. I like the one-liners, but I like them backed up with some knowledge too. I mean, the man has played the game, and at a very high level and more often than not I don't hear that experience coming through.

I believe it was Alexis de Tocqueville who said, If you would know America, learn pro wrestling. (Or maybe it was me.)

All the world these days is about provoking a reaction that keeps the fans swinging from one extreme to the other, and the only objective truth jingles inside a cash box. That makes Walton brother to Bobby "The Brain" Heenan, only not so funny. He knows it's all a scam and shows his contempt for all the programming gurus and producers in his ear by acting like a bombastic moron. At some point in his transition from earnest color announcer to over-the-top cartoon character, he was probably shocked to discover that people were actually buying it.

Me, I use the volume control. Works wonders.

Try PF.com game chat. That will block out anything. Between the "Yessirrrs!" and the "Ball Don't Lies", plus the frantic key pounding of the Pistons gametime elite, it's hard enough to actually watch the game, let alone listen to what the commentator has to say! ;)

"I wanna hear Walton mock them with no respect for himself or of his listeners because this plastic NBA, pre-fab, over-hyped, Bron vs. Melo, Wade vs. Kobe, Shaq vs. Ming crap is overdone and and I don't give a damn who is the MVP." Micro

Can't have your cake and eat it too, he's one of the common denominators in hyping all the aforementioned. He's got to be the numero uno hanger-on grasping Shaqs jock with two hands.

I don't want to be mocked because I decided to pay for the NBA package on Direct-TV, or when I watch ESPN. That's seems like a really cynical approach to sitting down and watching a good basketball game, (I hope I'm not being charged too much extra to be insulted).

And it has nothing to do with whining about brawl responsibility, we all know who was responsible for the brawl. It certainly wasn't the city of Detroit. Nor was it the Pistons. He doesn't earn $200 and free "get out of jail free card" for displaying his willingness to pile on the community. I don't remember any sly wit for the exceptionally hip being involved in that process.

I'm guessing some of you guys in Detroit probably weren't listening the latest ESPN broadcast due to your ability to get the local feed?

Bill Walton is a retarted clown. :nod:

that's a slap in the face to all mentally challenged humor engineers out there. :caked:

No problem with that either. Listen, If U havent Met Bill Walton "Shut up!!!!" I met him here in Houston and it wasnt 'Walton-the announcer' it was Walton, who led the Blazers passed the greatest team ever-The Sixers! He was so cool..we talked about present rock vs, the 60's rock and he signed my Pistons poster because he cant say how much they remind him of their MoLucas Blazers( they didnt have the 3 then). on TV.I like Bill...I cant hear him On Tv, but Bill can always come 2 my house! And if u dont know "TRuckin" , then u too young too know, my bruddahs!!!:yo:

Listen, If U havent Met Bill Walton "Shut up!!!!"

I'm not feelin' the love. :confused:

I'm not feelin' the love. :confused: U would..."if u met Him!" Trust me, I wouldnt lie 2 u!!!

Walton does excessively jock Shaq, but there is a rare legitimate principle involved there. He truly loves big men, and O'Neal is currently one of the few of his kind. He wasn't that bad back when there were more than two legit centers in the NBA and Hakeem owned Shaq.

The vast majority of his other proclamations and pronouncements are just silly, and taking affront means you're taking them too seriously. I feel much more insulted every time I watch an FSN broadcast and McLeod is doing his borderline psychotic schtick. That's where the mute button comes out permanently.

LanierFan is spot on.:amen:

Getting close enough to Bill W to "feel his disease" ------ 100 points

:yo: we all feel for you. But you have to want to be cured. We can put you in a 12 step program. With lots of moral support. You can be like the rest of us.

Bill is the retarded clown. He's definitely no antichrist. The anitichrist is going to be extremely charismatic and have everyone eating out of his hand. Hardly a description of our "friend" Bill.

Since when did this web site become a Christian fundamentalmist website. Personally I am offended by referring to a great athletic or any human being for that matter by that term.

Go figure - you do sign on as "Buddahfan"...:)

(my advice would'a been don't read the thread, but I see you already did - again- go figure)

Since when did this web site become a Christian fundamentalmist website. Personally I am offended by referring to a great athletic or any human being for that matter by that term.

I'm a little confused. If I've understood you correctly, you are offended by the use of the term "anti-christ" to refer to any human being.

But what I don't understand is your initial reference to the site as a "Christian fundamentalist website". It seems to me that if the site were Christian fundamentalist then the last thing that anybody would be throwing around in jest would be the term "anti-christ"...in my experience, the term "anti-christ" (as a reference to a disliked person) is usually used as a kind of hyperbole by people who really have no real investment in religious matters one way or another.

Anyway, I am sorry you felt offended, and it might not make a difference, but I feel pretty certain that nobody using the term on the site intended it as a slight or an offense to anyone's religious beliefs (or to the lack thereof, as the case may be).

I would use anti-christ as a slight to someone's religious beliefs.

Retarded Christ-Clown could be considered offensive, so I'm glad nobody used that combination.

If embracing political correctness is the on-point mission, where's the love for all those retarded circus clowns? You can't paint a happy face on a frowning retarded clown?

You know why I don't like clowns? Cause I don't want to spend my time hanging out with anybody thats wearing big red floppy shoes. Or sit in the bar watching a game with a guy that squeezes a 'beep' 'beep' out'a his schnozz each time my team scores.

But it's not just the retarded ones, it's the creepy ones too. Here's a website filled with Waltons extended family that's bound to send shivers through your timbers..

http://www.creepyclown.com/

But I do wonder if "in the name of political correctness" I couldn't have been more discerning in the use of the word "clown". There may well be some very talented retarded clowns out there dropping juggling pins as I write this.

To them I say, "stop the damn juggling you retarded clown before you hurt someone!"

Now - before any clown worshippers pop up from the rear seats of their sacred little clown cars, I will rectify the situation by saying I now think of Walton as a "Ass Clown".

There it is - before some new pasty-faced poster named "Milky-Go-Pistons" can check in to slap my hands, recognize that I have thoughtfully and sensitively separated "retard" from "clown", (in lieu of my new, just discovered Ass Clown definitions).

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass+clown

Personally, I think #'s 3,4,5,7,8 and 9 all work in unison with the name Bill Walton, (#1 was a toss-up, but in the spirit of room sensitivity I didn't want to appear too hard on the guy :eyebrows: )

Personally, I think #'s 3,4,5,7,8 and 9 all work in unison with the name Bill Walton, (#1 was a toss-up, but in the spirit of room sensitivity I didn't want to appear too hard on the guy :eyebrows: )

Personally, I'd opt for #14 -
Someone who wastes the time of two or more people due to his or her inability to see what is obvious to the other two.

Oh man, missed #20 -

Someone who literally puts you to sleep with their boring personality(bordering on poo pirate tendencies) and total lack of commonsense

I guess I'm just in the minority, but I love Bill Walton!

I think that if you take him too seriously, you'll truly hate him, but I just see him as a comedian, and he totally cracks me up. It would be even funnier if he really believed the stuff he says, but I don't think he does.

Any game insight is just gravy.

I guess I'm just in the minority, but I love Bill Walton!

I think that if you take him too seriously, you'll truly hate him, but I just see him as a comedian, and he totally cracks me up. It would be even funnier if he really believed the stuff he says, but I don't think he does.

Any game insight is just gravy.

I agree. It is mostly a routine. But he does side-track a bit much for my taste. The game should always take priority. Putting it in perspective of a network thats cuts away from the game for some dork interview with someone nobody is interested in what can we expect?

I love all clowns; even the retarted ones.:)

I love all clowns; even the retarted ones.:)

you mean retarded? :)

i have problems with people who are can't let an incorrect spelling pass them by. those are really the retarded people;

You forgot to capitalize the t in those.

You forgot to capitalize the t in those.
LMAO. He forgot to capitalize his "I" too.

Is retarted politically incorrect? Or is it a word to describe when you put your Kellog's pastry back in the toaster because it popped up before it was done?:p

i have problems with people who are can't let an incorrect spelling pass them by. those are really the retarded people;

:D i usually let misspellings go, but it's too ironic not to mention when someone spells a word like 'retarded' incorrectly :)

and lol @ tater!

LMAO. He forgot to capitalize his "I" too.

Is retarted politically incorrect? Or is it a word to describe when you put your Kellog's pastry back in the toaster because it popped up before it was done?:p

ohhh! i thought "retarted" was when one dressed up in a provocative -- even whooorish -- manner for the second time...e.g. She retarted before going to the party Saturday night.

I guess I'm just in the minority, but I love Bill Walton!

I think that if you take him too seriously, you'll truly hate him, but I just see him as a comedian, and he totally cracks me up. It would be even funnier if he really believed the stuff he says, but I don't think he does.

Any game insight is just gravy.

I overheard these gems from Walton from my kitchen while cooking during the Phoenix/New Jersey game last night.

Re Stoudemire: "It's only been 3 and 1/2 weeks, just a blink of an eye. Amare's got to stop thinking like a hummingbird, and start thinking like an eagle."

Huh? LOL.

Re Vince Carter: "I think only the cynics and the depressed don't like Vince Carter."

Nice.

and the piece de resistance for one of his favorite muses

"Boris Diaw....smooth...effortless..representing the true spirit of Thanksgiving."

What? :pound:What?

Those are hilarious.

"Boris Diaw....smooth...effortless..representing the true spirit of Thanksgiving"

That has to be one of my favorites. :pound:

I overheard these gems from Walton from my kitchen while cooking during the Phoenix/New Jersey game last night.

Re Stoudemire: "It's only been 3 and 1/2 weeks, just a blink of an eye. Amare's got to stop thinking like a hummingbird, and start thinking like an eagle."

Huh? LOL.

Re Vince Carter: "I think only the cynics and the depressed don't like Vince Carter."

Nice.

and the piece de resistance for one of his favorite muses

"Boris Diaw....smooth...effortless..representing the true spirit of Thanksgiving."

What? :pound:What?

Those comments are just about enough to make you want to switch places with the turkey! :D

Someone with Photoshop skillz (i.e. not me) needs to hook Diaw up with a pilgrim costume!

I love all clowns; even the retarted ones.:)


I didn't know any clowns could be retarted. My favorite pop tarts are the hot fudge sunday. If it's true that clowns can be retarted, I wonder if they would taste funny?

His biased comments are really inappropriate. His comments are stupid. His jokes are not funny. He repels fans. I absolutely can't stand to listen to him. He may have been a good player but being so tall, perhaps his brain? is not getting enough oxygen! Is he is an alien from Stern's office? Do his big teeth prevent him from making sense? Whatever it is he should be off the air!

he's my favorite announcer because he is so bombastic and ridiculous.

THROW IT DOWN, BIG MAN!

hilarious.

He may have been a good player but being so tall, perhaps his brain? is not getting enough oxygen! Is he is an alien from Stern's office? Do his big teeth prevent him from making sense? Whatever it is he should be off the air!


He had an awesome collegiate career, and one (1977) great pro season.....That`s it, IMO.

I've always been in the "retarted clown" camp (and aren't all retarted clowns camp?), but one more line like the Diaw one and I'm going to switch over to Walton fandom.